BS''D
Tisha'a Be'Av
I was very hesitant to write anything acknowledging that we are going through another Tisha Be'Av exiled and dispersed across the face of this Earth. I was very much hoping I wouldn't have to. I figured this year would be different, and held back from writing anything of a heartbroken nature. Yet, the fact of the matter is, we are not sitting in a rebuilt Yerushalayim, we are sitting among our own destroyed homes. So again I write to you yet another year mourning over our broken and divided Yerushalayim.
There is a concept to leave a section of a wall in every Jewish home unpainted in remembrance of destruction of Yerushalayim Ir HaKodesh and the Beit Mikdash. Realizing that our home did not have this, this past week, I decided to paint a picture of the Kotel on the walls in a portion of my home and leave a section of this painting unfinished in remembrance of the destruction of HaShem's home. As I was drawing the bricks to the Kotel, I realized that part of the drawing was disproportionate and that I would have to correct it. I took an eraser, but couldn't bring myself to erase even one line of this drawing. It pained me too much to erase any section of just a picture of the Kotel drawn in the United States. I thought to myself, Wow, How much it must have hurt HaKadosh Barukh Hu when he had to destroy His entire Beit HaMikdash. How much, did it pain Him do dismantle His Own Home brick by brick? How angry must we have made our Abba in Shamayim, our Father in Heaven, that He had to set fire to His own home? I couldn't even erase a line because of the pain and guilt I felt. How did HaKadosh Barukh Hu feel when he wasn't just erasing lines, but destroying completely the holiest place in the entire world?
And still, how does HaShem feel now with no Home?
At what cost did HaShem destroy His most special place in this world? To keep Kelal Yisrael alive. One of us had to go, either the Beit HaMikdash or Benei Yisrael. HaShem decided to obliterate His own home in order for us to survive as a nation. Look what HaKadosh Barukh Hu was willing to give up in order to make peace with us, in order to allow us to endure. We still haven't learned.
Each year that we do not have a Beit HaMikdash, it is as if we destroyed it all over again that very year. Why was the Beit HaMikdash destroyed in the first place? Because we did not show proper love for one another. This means, every year that we do not see the Beit HaMikdash being built, we have still not managed to love one another properly. We have Sinaat Hinam- baseless hatred. 'Hinam' could be broken down into two words 'hen' which means 'favor' and 'hem' which means 'their'. We dislike 'their favor'—for nothing. And because of this, we are cast out of our home; we're homeless.
Seriously imagine having to destroy your own home because your children couldn't act civil with one another. Even if they didn't act properly, wouldn't it still pain you to send them away? Wouldn't it hurt you knowing you cannot protect them anymore once they are away? Imagine ripping off the doors to your home and shattering the windows. Imagine over turning the beds and setting fire to the floors. Doesn't this pull at your heart? Doesn't it horrify you? This is exactly what HaKadosh Barukh Hu had to do because we did not love one another the way we should- except on a much larger and more powerful level.
Every time we do not love one another, we are destroying our Home. When we argue, or when we are not being understanding, we are pelting stones at the windows, we are tearing off the doors, we set fire to the tapestries and we are crumbling the foundation to our Home.
Do we realize the effects of our actions? This is why we mourn.
With our words we can either create Shalom Bayit, or very well say 'Shalom, Bayit'- Goodbye, Home. Look at what HaShem was ready to give up in order to save us and make Peace. Are we ready to give up from ourselves such a level in order to make Peace? Are we willing to concede and give in sometimes, or do we bear grudges? Do we try to work things out or do we tear things apart and try to get our way?
Have Ahavat Hinam. 'Baseless Love' or 'Loving their Grace'. You're telling yourself that you've heard this too many times before. That's because we still haven't done it right. Love others even when you think they don't deserve it- that's called baseless, unconditional love. Love them even when you don't see a reason to. Love others exactly like how you love yourself. That very love will bring the Geulah beKarov.
Benot Yisrael, today we must weep. Today we must shed tears with such intensity. We abandoned HaShem. We destroyed his Home. We continue to bring suffering and pain to this world. Some of us remain unaffected and unmoved. How could we cry if we don't sense HaShem's pain? This is why we should be crying! We have become so insensitive that we don't even realize what to cry for anymore. We don't feel our own Father's pain. How sad is that? If you don't realize how alone HaKadosh Barukh Hu is, this is reason enough to cry.
When we go through pain and suffering, HaShem isn't doing it to us, He is going through it with us. When HaShem destroyed His Home, this hurt Him too. But when He cries, we forget. We have fallen so low. We have proven that we still don't deserve His Home. It is time to become more sensitive people- sensitive to others and most of all sensitive to HaKadosh Barukh Hu. Start by shedding your tears.
In this zekhout may we merit to bring Mashiah ben David to announce the Geulah we have been waiting 2,000 years for, and may we be zokhim to experience the building of Bayit Shelishi beKarov. BH next year I hope to be writing you all from a rebuilt Yerushalyim in all its glory. Until then, we continue to daven for Yerushalayim.
Hashivenu HaShem Elekha veNashuvah, Hadesh Yamenu KeKedem.
With a lot of love and a lot of longing,
MidrESHET Hayil
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