Halakhot Hodesh Av

Rosh Hodesh Av 5773

Today is Rosh Hodesh Menahem Av

Today is also the Hiloula of Aharon HaKohen, daven in his zekhout!

Halakhah:

2. One sits alone on the floor for the Seudat HaMafseket (the last meal before the Taanit/fast).

Today is Rosh Hodesh Menahem Av. The Mishnah tells us 'As Av enters, we diminish our joy'. Rosh Hodesh Av is the beginning of a stricter mourning period for the destruction of the First and Second Beit HaMikdash. While the first Beit HaMikdash was destroyed because of our various sins, the Second Beit HaMikdash was destroyed because we did not have proper love for one another. It is no coincidence that the Yahrzeit of Aharon HaKohen, who was best known for being 'Ohev Shalom ve'Rodef Shalom'- Loving and Pursuing Peace, occurs on the beginning of this very month. If we follow suit after the example of our beloved Aharon HaKohen, and increase the love between us and our fellow brothers and sisters, we can be sure to bring Mashiah BeMeharah BeYamenu, and once again stand in the glory of the Beit HaMikdash beKarov, Amen!

חודש אב טוב ומבורך  

2 Av 5773

V. Tisha'a Be'Av Night and Day

1. Tisha’a Be’Av prohibitions apply from the sunset beginning the day until appearance of the stars the following evening, in the New York area about 30 minutes after sunset.

2. The following are prohibited on Tisha’a Be’Av: eating, drinking, washing the body, anointing, wearing leather shoes and marital relations. Studying Torah, which gladdens the heart, is also prohibited, except for the study of sad subjects.

3. One who is sick, even if the sickness does not pose danger to life, is exempt from fasting. One who senses he/she is becoming sick or would become sick upon continuing the fast may break it. (Ask a Rav if possible).

3 Av 5773

3 (part b) Pregnant and nursing women, although straightaway exempt from the other rabbinical fasts, if healthy, are required to fast on Tisha'a Be'Av, unless they are extremely weak. A woman who gave birth within thirty days before Tisha'a Be'Av is exempt.

**A Birthday Berakhah:

A person's birthday is an auspicious time to give others a Berakhah. Barukh HaShem, I have this zekhout today! I would like to give each and every one of you special Benot Yisrael a Berakhah that regardless of what level of the process you are at today, you will be zokhah to build a Bayit Kadosh veNe'eman Be'Yisrael and use all the halakhot we learn to do so. This means all those not married yet will find their zivoug elyon at the most perfect time with such clarity, ease, happiness and joy. All those who wish for children, HaKadosh Barukh Hu should bless you with an abundance of healthy children, Sadikim and Sadikot who will grow up Derekh HaShem with Torah and Maasim Tovim. May we always have Shalom Bayit and build our homes as a Mikdash where HaShem's Shekhinah could, and will, rest.

May we always be be'Simha and bring others to be be'Simha as well. May we reach our full potential in life and complete our ultimate Tikkun. May we pass all our nisayonot and grow from them tremendously, having complete Emounah and Bitahon every step of the way. May HaKadosh Barukh Hu personally guide and protect each one of us and may we always sense His guiding Hand. May we grow to become patient, understanding, and sensitive to others. May we always be givers. May we love and seek Shalom always. May we always be appreciative of all the good in our lives. May our Tefillah become stronger and more passionate. May we all cultivate our Middot and become refined Nashei Hayil. May we do Teshuvah Shelemah. Most of all, may we bring nahat to our Abba in Shamayim in all that we do.

MAY WE ALL BE ZOKHIM TO EXPERIENCE THE COMING OF MASHIAH AND THE BUILDING OF THE BEIT HAMIKDASH BEKAROV! Looking forward to seeing you in the Ezrat HaNashim (Women's Section) there :D

I hope I didn't leave anything out, but in case I did, may HaShem still bless us with every Berakhah from Shamayim!

(If anyone would like a more personal berakhah that I didn't mention, please message me and I will be so glad to have the opportunity to daven for you).

May HaShem answer all our Tefillot leTova u'leBerakhah!! Kol Tuv Sadikot!

4 Av 5773

4 (part b) One uses the dampness of the towel to wipe away the sediment from the eyes in the morning. Even after using the restroom, or when one has touched a covered part of the body, washing is up to the knuckles. However, if somehow a part of the body became dirty or very sweaty, it is permitted to wash in a limited way, for the essential prohibition of washing is when done for pleasure.

BS''D

Parashat Devarim- Make a YOU-Turn

1. These are the words which Moshe spoke to all of Yisrael….

א. אֵלֶּה הַדְּבָרִים אֲשֶׁר דִּבֶּר מֹשֶׁה אֶל כָּל יִשְׂרָאֵל....

I have absolutely no sense of direction, everyone knows this. I feel bad for the people I gives rides to (consider this a public apology). If my life depended on it, I probably wouldn’t be able to get to my destination without circling the place three times-even if I’ve been there fifty times before (sadly I’m not exaggerating). GPS is my best friend. But for most normal people, directions are simple ‘Oh, I’ve been there before! I know how to get there, it’s easy!’

Sefer Devarim is referred to as Mishneh Torah- the Second Torah. In a basic understanding, it is a repetition of many Missvot and experiences that have been recorded in the previous Four Sefarim of the Torah HaKedoshah. One must ask, if we heard it all before, why does HaKadosh Barukh Hu see it as imperative to include anentire Sefer in the Torah as mere repetition?

Before we answer any questions, you should know, repetition is a good thing- it’s really a gift.

During the nine months that a fetus spends in its mother’s womb, there is a Malakh, an angel, that teaches this child the Torah in its entirety. When the child is born, an angel touches the top of the child’s lip, and he forgets everything he learned in the past nine months. (This is why we have that indent on top of our upper lip- it’s called the ‘philtrum’). Wait a second, what was the point of teaching this child the entire Torah in the first place if he was going to have it forgotten anyways? How does this make sense? And what is this whole business with indenting my upper lip with his finger?

HaShem does such a thing so that when during our lives we learn a piece of Torah, it will seem familiar to us because we technically already learned it once before. This second time that we learn it is now just a repetition, and so, Torah learning (and implementing what we learn) is made more feasible for us to do.

One of my favorite Pesukim (it’s in Sefer Hoshea) is ‘Kehu Imakhem Devarim, ve’Shuvu el HaShem’- Take with you ‘Devarim’ and return to HaShem. ‘Devarim’ can mean a few things here- ‘Things’ and ‘Words’. Take your ‘actions’ and do Teshuvah with them, return to HaShem! With our actions, we are capable of doing full Teshuvah- doing Missvot, giving Sedaka. At the same time, we could also take our ‘words’ and do Teshuvah with them- Tefillah, Shirah, Shemirat haLashon. Everyone has a different way of connecting to HaKadosh Barukh Hu, and everyone has something different that they must work on, so whether it’s your actions or your words, use them as a way of returning to HaShem. (This is maybe why an angel’s finger touches our lips- the hand representing actions and lips resembling words).

With the framework we have just set, we could understand this Pasuk yet another way. ‘Kehu Imakhem Devarim’- Take with you Sefer Devarim, ‘ve’Shuvu el HaShem’- and return to HaShem. Take with you everything that Sefer Devarim stands for, take everything it encapsulates, and do Teshuvah this way.

Sefer Devarim represents repetition, right? Let’s apply this.

What does ‘Teshuvah’ mean literally? It means to ‘Return’; not ‘visit’, not ‘approach’, not ‘direct ourselves’, and not ‘walk towards’. It means ‘Return’. If we are returning somewhere, it means we have been there before. If we have been somewhere before, going back there should be easier for us. Like with directions, this path should seem familiar to us already. Doing Teshuvah isn’t as hard as we think it to be. As far away as we may be, we’ve been way closer to HaShem before, all we have to do is retrace our steps back.

Some people however, like me, could sometimes find retracing steps to be difficult and confusing still, even if they have been there before. For that there is GPS- G-d’s Personalized Solution. HaShem helps you each step along the way, along your own personal path.

-Like the satellite GPS that we are familiar with, it knows exactly where you are located now, and directs you exactly towards your destination. HaShem does the same with us.

-The GPS gives us step by step directions how to get to our destination, simplifying it for us and guides us every step if the way, ‘In one mile, make a right’, ‘Continue straight for 2.8 miles’, ‘Take Exit 36’. This is exactly how HaShem guides us as well, step by step.

-Should we ever make a mistake, should we ever come off the path we’re meant to be going along, the GPS reads ‘Recalculating’ and puts us back on the correct direction. It does this every time we make a mistake. The GPS never gives up. Doesn’t HaKadosh Barukh Hu do the same?

-Most of all, the GPS is patient and kind with us. When it feeds us directions, it doesn’t yell at us or criticize us. Just imagine, ‘I told you fifty times to make a right here! Are you blind?? I had enough of you today! Go ask someone else for directions, I’m done. You could walk for all I care!’ and then under its breath, ‘Gosh, somebody give me an Advil… or three…’ HaShem Yerahem. In the most soothing and calm voice, the GPS directs us where we need to go. It is our best companion.

Understandably, we each have different ways to get to the same destination- some of us better with words and some of us with actions. The GPS that accompanies all of us is specifically geared for each user, as we all tend to take different streets to get to the same place. But nevertheless, we all have one thing in common. We take ‘Devarim’ to return to HaKadosh Barukh Hu- we use what Devarim represents in order to do Teshuvah- we us the gift of repetition.

Teshuvah isn’t a one way path. It is a giant U-turn. We start at the top, and inevitably, in life we can experience moving downward at times, but we use this momentum to move upward again using the same path we were once on and end up where we once stood- right besides HaKadosh Barukh Hu.

As confusing as this may sound, these are the only directions I know I will never mess up on.

Be’Ezrat HaShem Yitbarakh, may we be zokhim to internalize the precepts of Sefer Devarim and what it represents. In the next few months, we will be preparing ourselves for Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur. The Teshuvah process begins now. We should all be zokhim to do Teshuvah Shelemah in front of HaShem and in this merit, may we personally experience the building of the Beit HaMikdash beKarov, making this Tisha’a be’Av a joyous day for all of Kelal Yisrael!

Wishing every special Yid a Shabbat Shalom uMevorakh!

5 Menahem Av 5773

Today is the Hiloula of the Ari HaKadosh! Daven in his zekhout!

**IMPORTANT HALAKHAH: From DailyDose of Torah 

One may not wear freshly-laundered clothes during the week of Tisha Be'Av. Therefore, one should prepare the clothes he wishes to wear during that week ahead of time by wearing them for a short while (around an hour) before this Shabbat. Doing so removes their freshness and deems them wearable next week. It's best to prepare undergarments like so as well. (Daily Halacha - slightly revised, Hazon Ovadia Fasts p.229)

7 Menahem Av 5773

On Tisha'a Be'Av:

4. Washing of hands, including netilat yadayim, is up to the knuckles. Washing other parts of the body, whether in hot or cold water, is forbidden.  (See previous email 4b for exceptions)

5. Application of medication or deodorant is permitted.

6. Non-leather sneakers with non-structural leather ornamentation are permitted. Leather garments other than shoes are permitted

8 Av 5773

Tonight and Tomorrow is the fast of Tisha’a Be’Av

The fast begins tonight at 8:16pm in NY and ends tomorrow night at  9:14pm

The five categories of abstinence/infliction (no eating or drinking, no washing, no leather shoes, no oils, creams or perfumes, no marital relations) take effect immediately at Shekiah, sunset today until tomorrow night after the Taanit. 

**NOTE: although Tisha'a Be'Av ends tomorrow night, Sephardim do not start eating meat or drinking wine until AFTER 10 Av since the Beit HaMikdash was still burning on this day. Therefore we resume having meat and wine starting 11 Av (Wednesday night). 

A Tisha Be'Av Message

BS''D

Menahem Av 5773

 I currently sit in an empty Yeroushalayim. Tonight is Tisha BeAv.  For her I am mourning--as we sit within her womb, for her we are all mourning. 

 

I was very hesitant to write anything acknowledging that we are going through another Tisha Be'Av exiled and dispersed across the face of this Earth. I was very much hoping I wouldn't have to. I figured this year would be different, and held back from writing anything of a heartbroken nature. Yet, the fact of the matter is, we are not sitting in a rebuilt Yerushalayim, we are sitting among our own destroyed homes. So again I write to you yet another year mourning over our broken and divided Yerushalayim.

 

There is a concept to leave a section of a wall in every Jewish home unpainted in remembrance of destruction of Yerushalayim Ir HaKodesh and the Beit Mikdash. Realizing that our home did not have this, this past week, I decided to paint a picture of the Kotel on the walls in a portion of my home and leave a section of this painting unfinished in remembrance of the destruction of HaShem's home. As I was drawing the bricks to the Kotel, I realized that part of the drawing was disproportionate and that I would have to correct it. I took an eraser, but couldn't bring myself to erase even one line of this drawing. It pained me too much to erase any section of just a picture of the Kotel drawn in the United States. I thought to myself, Wow, How much it must have hurt HaKadosh Barukh Hu when he had to destroy His entire Beit HaMikdash. How much, did it pain Him do dismantle His Own Home brick by brick? How angry must we have made our Abba in Shamayim, our Father in Heaven, that He had to set fire to His own home? I couldn't even erase a line because of the pain and guilt I felt. How did HaKadosh Barukh Hu feel when he wasn't just erasing lines, but destroying completely the holiest place in the entire world?

 

And still, how does HaShem feel now with no Home?

 

At what cost did HaShem destroy His most special place in this world? To keep Kelal Yisrael alive. One of us had to go, either the Beit HaMikdash or Benei Yisrael. HaShem decided to obliterate His own home in order for us to survive as a nation. Look what HaKadosh Barukh Hu was willing to give up in order to make peace with us, in order to allow us to endure. We still haven't learned.

 

Each year that we do not have a Beit HaMikdash, it is as if we destroyed it all over again that very year. Why was the Beit HaMikdash destroyed in the first place? Because we did not show proper love for one another. This means, every year that we do not see the Beit HaMikdash being built, we have still not managed to love one another properly. We have Sinaat Hinam- baseless hatred. 'Hinam' could be broken down into two words 'hen' which means 'favor' and 'hem' which means 'their'.   We dislike 'their favor'—for nothing. And because of this, we are cast out of our home; we're homeless.

 

Seriously imagine having to destroy your own home because your children couldn't act civil with one another. Even if they didn't act properly, wouldn't it still pain you to send them away? Wouldn't it hurt you knowing you cannot protect them anymore once they are away? Imagine ripping off the doors to your home and shattering the windows. Imagine over turning the beds and setting fire to the floors. Doesn't this pull at your heart? Doesn't it horrify you? This is exactly what HaKadosh Barukh Hu had to do because we did not love one another the way we should- except on a much larger and more powerful level.

 

Every time we do not love one another, we are destroying our Home. When we argue, or when we are not being understanding, we are pelting stones at the windows, we are tearing off the doors, we set fire to the tapestries and we are crumbling the foundation to our Home.

 

Do we realize the effects of our actions? This is why we mourn.

 

With our words we can either create Shalom Bayit, or very well say 'Shalom, Bayit'- Goodbye, Home. Look at what HaShem was ready to give up in order to save us and make Peace. Are we ready to give up from ourselves such a level in order to make Peace? Are we willing to concede and give in sometimes, or do we bear grudges? Do we try to work things out or do we tear things apart and try to get our way?

 

Have Ahavat Hinam. 'Baseless Love' or 'Loving their Grace'.  You're telling yourself that you've heard this too many times before. That's because we still haven't done it right. Love others even when you think they don't deserve it- that's called baseless, unconditional love. Love them even when you don't see a reason to. Love others exactly like how you love yourself. That very love will bring the Geulah beKarov.

 

Benot Yisrael, today we must weep. Today we must shed tears with such intensity. We abandoned HaShem. We destroyed his Home. We continue to bring suffering and pain to this world.  Some of us remain unaffected and unmoved. How could we cry if we don't sense HaShem's pain? This is why we should be crying! We have become so insensitive that we don't even realize what to cry for anymore. We don't feel our own Father's pain. How sad is that? If you don't realize how alone HaKadosh Barukh Hu is, this is reason enough to cry.

 

When we go through pain and suffering, HaShem isn't doing it to us, He is going through it with us. When HaShem destroyed His Home, this hurt Him too. But when He cries, we forget. We have fallen so low. We have proven that we still don't deserve His Home. It is time to become more sensitive people- sensitive to others and most of all sensitive to HaKadosh Barukh Hu. Start by shedding your tears.

 

In this zekhout may we merit to bring Mashiah ben David to announce the Geulah we have been waiting 2,000 years for, and may we be zokhim to experience the building of Bayit Shelishi beKarov. BH next year I hope to be writing you all from a rebuilt Yerushalyim in all its glory. Until then, we continue to daven for Yerushalayim.

 

Hashivenu HaShem Elekha veNashuvah, Hadesh Yamenu KeKedem.

 

With a lot of love and a lot of longing,

MidrESHET HAYIL

10 Av 5773

XV. Halakhot of Kenisat Shabbat Kodesh (Entrance of Shabbat Kodesh)

1. It is a Missvah to wash the entire body and to wash the hair in hot water on Friday in the honor of Shabbat Kodesh. Women should do so to, and if she is not able to, she should at least wash her hands and face with hot water.

11 Av 5773

Correction: the painting mentioned in the Tisha'a Be'Av message was made last year, not last week. BH may we be zokhim to witness the actual building of the Beit HaMikdash beKarov!

1.b. When washing oneself Likhvod (for the honor of) Shabbat Kodesh on Friday, one should be careful not to shower to close to shekiyah (sundown) so one won't has ve Shalom become close to violation of the Holy Shabbat. 

12 Av 5773

1.c. Its best to shower in the honor of Shabbat Kodesh on Friday so it is recognized that one is doing so in honor of Shabbat Kodesh.

17 Av 5773

1.d. If one is not able to shower on Friday morning in the honor of Shabbat Kodesh, she should wash on Thursday, since the closer it is to Shabbat Kodesh, the more noticeable it is that its for the honor of Shabbat Kodesh

BS''D

Parashat VaEt'hanan-Tefillah Time

4. Hear, O Israel: HaShem is our G-d; HaShem is one.

ד. שְׁמַע יִשְׂרָאֵל ה' אֱלֹהֵינוּ ה' אֶחָד:

There is a halakhah not to directly request HaShem for a Refuah for someone in Tefillah on Shabbat Kodesh (unless of course, it is very serious in which a halakhic authority should be consulted). Until recently, I never really understood why this is, and I would sometimes sneak in a little (okay, big) personal Tefillah during the Amidah.  It felt wrong not to be able to daven fully. I thought to myself, Shabbat Kodesh is the most spiritual day of the week! If anything, wouldn't this be the best day to daven for something? Barukh HaShem, I finally learned the reason why this is.

 I was reading HaRav Shimshon Dovid Pincus's sefer, Nefesh Shmishon, and he explains that Shabbat Kodesh is the day that we should be building our relationship with HaKadosh Barukh Hu in the most intimate way. To do this, we need as little distractions as possible. Just like we don't do creative work on Shabbat, because this would both distract and detract from our relationship with HaShem, intensively asking for things can 'get in the way' so to speak. Shabbat itself is so Kadosh that it already brings the Berakhot we want to ask for; additional Tefillot wouldn't even be necessary on this day. All we have to do on Shabbat is to build a relationship with HaKadosh Barukh Hu and serve as witnesses that He created the world and gave us Shabbat Kodesh. By keeping Shabbat, we are saying, HaShem, I agree that You created the world in six days, and made the seventh day one of rest, called 'Shabbat', and this is why I am 'resting today'. We have the other six fays to daven intensely.

Even on the other six days though, sometimes we can feel that our Tefillot seem to go unanswered. In this week's Parashah, Moshe Rabbenu davens over and over again, 515 times, to be permitted to enter Eress Yisrael. The gematriya (numerical value) ofVaEt'hanan, 'And I pleaded', is 515. After all this davening, HaShem still didn't want Moshe Rabbenu to enter. And so, Moshe Rabbenu accepts his predicament. The truth is, there is no such thing as an unanswered Tefillah. Every Tefillah is answered. To each Tefillah the answer could be:

Yes, my dear child.

Yes, my child, but not right now. I'm going to save this Tefillah for a time you will need it more.

No. – 'No' is also an answer.

You're going to have to trust that HaShem knows best for you. He will apply your Tefillah at the most appropriate time. Your Tefillah will always be answered, you just might not always be able to detect the results.

Regardless of what the answer to our Tefillah will be, we must understand that whether it's a 'Yes' or a 'No', it all comes from ONE source. HaShem decides yes and HaShem decides no. It's not that all the 'Yes's' come from a good place, HaShem, and all the 'No's' come from a bad place. Both 'Yes' and 'No' come from a source of good, from HaShem.

This is also why, in addition to the concept of Shabbat and the concept of Tefillah, Parashat VaEt'hanan hosts perhaps the most fundamental pasouk to Benei Yisrael's credence. Shema Yisrael.

Shema Yisrael HaShem Elokeinu HaShem EHAD-'Hear Yisrael, HaShem is our GD, HaShem is ONE'

You hear that? Hakadosh Barukh Hu is ONE.

We must firmly believe, understand, and internalize that everything comes from One Source. Everything, good or seemingly 'bad' comes from one place- from HaShem. If it's coming from HaShem Yitbarakh, that means it's always good. Our minds are just limited, so sometimes we can't grasp this idea or see it in our lives moment to moment. The best we could do though is to serve as HaShem's witness and testify, HaShem is ONE! What is happening in my life can only be GOOD! What is happening in your life is good TOO! I can promise you, I'm a witness!

And guess what? The two letters in the pasouk of Shema that are written enlarged in the Torah are the Ayin of 'Shema' and Daled of 'Ehad'. What does this spell? 'Ed' which means 'witness'.

A witness has to firmly believe what they are testifying, they cannot falter. They must be ready to swear on their word. A witness must be objective and only speak truth. There is one truth. The truth is HaShem is ONE. Go prove it to everyone. It's your responsibility.

Knowing this, we should never give up on Tefillah, since we know our prayers will ALWAYS be answered. We should mamash be davening/praying every second of the day, every chance we get. We can learn this from the Shema as well. The 'Shin' in Shema stands for Shaharit, the 'Mem' stands for Minha, the 'Ayin' stands for Arvit—the three times a day that we daven. We should be praying be'shivtekha be've'tekha—as you sit in your house,u've'lekhtekha va'derekh—as you walk on your way, u've'shakhbekha—as you lay down,u've'kumekha—as you get up. These are the words of our beloved Shema. Listen to them.

Shema also stands for 'Se'u Marom Eynekhem'- 'Lift your Eyes Upwards (Towards Shamayim)'. Nothing should ever stop us from davening. Just look up to Shmayim, open your heart and pour out your most genuine Tefillah. This is what I call TeFEELah. There is no way it won't be answered.

Be'Ezrat HaShem, may all our Tefillot be answered le'Tova u'le'Berakhah! May we develop the patience and understanding that just because our Tefillot may not be answered immediately, it does not mean that they are not heard. May we internalize that no matter what HaShem decides for us, it is from ONE source, a GOOD source. Remember this the next time you say the Shema.

Wishing everyONE  a Shabbat Shalom uMevorakh!

19 Av 5773

2. Its is a Missvah to wash oneself also on Erev Yom Tov (eve of Holiday) like we do for Erev Shabbat Kodesh (Friday)

BS''D

Parashat Ekev- HaShem, I Want to Be You!

22. For if you keep all these commandments which I command you to do them, to love the HaShem, your G-d, to walk in all His ways, and to cleave to Him.

כב. כִּי אִם שָׁמֹר תִּשְׁמְרוּן אֶת כָּל הַמִּצְוָה הַזֹּאת אֲשֶׁר אָנֹכִי מְצַוֶּה אֶתְכֶם לַעֲשֹׂתָהּ לְאַהֲבָה אֶת יְ־הֹוָ־ה אֱלֹהֵיכֶם לָלֶכֶת בְּכָל דְּרָכָיו וּלְדָבְקָה בוֹ:

My friend once lost her cell phone, lo aleinu. I’ve never seen anybody so frantic in my life. We sent a whole search team for this phone. We finished Sefer Tehillim for her. HaShem had so much Rahamim that we finally found this phone. Looking back, one must wonder, how come somebody would get so distraught over losing a piece of metal? I mean, calm down it’s a just cell phone, it could be replaced! But still, to most people, losing a phone means losing connection to others, and this is reasonable enough a cause to warrant such a response.

Even though we do not need to be in constant contact with our ‘contacts’, we still feel a sense of security and reassurance knowing that we are always able to reach them. Just the idea of having all communication cut off creates a sense of anxiety and discomfort within. How valuable would a constant and direct channel of communication be to us if we could establish such a thing?

Did you ever think that our relationship with HaKadosh Barukh Hu is such a way? Since we cannot directly see and physically feel HaShem, we at least rely on the assurance that we can always ‘call’ Him; HaShem is certainly reachable. However, the truth is that we could have that direct connection with HaShem that most people think does not exist. It’s actually a Missvah in the Torah. Parashat Ekev reveals to us the Missvah of Devekut ba’HaShem, ‘cleaving to or sticking’ to HaShem Yitbarakh. We are commanded to continuously be bonded with Him. Our job now is find out what is that connecting factor between us and HaShem? What means of communication can we tap into to reach and feel HaShem more directly and to ultimately become one unified body with Him?

In the same pasouk that we learn about the Missvah of Devekut ba’HaShem, we are also commanded to be exactly like HaShem- ve’halakhta be’khol derakhav- ‘You shall go in all His ways’.The way we can bond to HaShem is by being just like Him. The more we can act like HaShem, the closer we become to Him. (BH we will learn what exactly some of HaShem’s qualities are). 

In chemistry, there is something called a diatomic molecule, which is a single molecule made of two of the same atoms. The two atoms are bonded together. The bond holding these two atoms is called a covalent bond, which is the strongest chemical bond that exists. What makes it so strong? Rabbenu Wikipedia explains, ‘Covalent bonding is a common type of bonding, in which the electronegativity difference between the bonded atoms is small or nonexistent. ’ Which, for normal people, means: the fact that the difference (in the electric force) of the two atoms is so small, that’s what allows them to bond so strongly. Likewise, the smaller the difference between us and HaKadosh Barukh Hu, the stronger the bond between Us. When we act like complete animalistic humans, we are different than HaShem, and therefore are less ‘compatible’ so to speak and bonding becomes less feasible. But when we try to act G-dly, when we tap into our divine senses, we become more similar to HaShem and therefore more ‘compatible’ for bonding.

The question is, do you want to be a manimal, a blend of man and angel or a mangel, a hybrid of man and angel?

If it is an elevated human being you want to be, keep reading.

To become such a person, just ‘Follow His ways’, the ways of HaShem. Rambam in Hilkhot De’ot of the Mishneh Torah teaches:  ‘Just as HaShem is called compassionate, so you should be compassionate. Just as He is described as merciful so should you be merciful. Just as He is called holy so should you be holy. And it is in this fashion that the prophets described HaShem in terms of character traits -- slow to anger, abundant in kindness, righteous, perfect, powerful and strong etc. -- to teach us that these are upright and positive traits, and a person is obligated to conduct himself according to their Example, and thus to make himself like HaShem as far as it is in his power’. (translation adapted from Aish.com)

Rav Moshe Cordovero in his Sefer Tomer Devorah discusses this idea at great length. He guides us by explaining that HaShem has Thirteen Divine Attributes that we can learn from and apply to ourselves.  We all have character traits, each in their own measure, or middah- some are subtle and some are more extreme. Nevertheless, we must direct and refine our middot, our character traits, by emulating HaShem. HaShem is our number one role model. Just like He doesn’t get angry quickly, we shouldn’t either. Just like He is always giving with immense love, we should be doing the same. HaShem is compassionate, patient and merciful- this means we must be compassionate, patient and merciful as well. By becoming more like HaShem, we are also becoming closer to Him, since He essentially is become more and more a part of us.  I don’t know much about chemistry, but I’m certainly liking the sound of this diatomic bond.

Be’Ezrat HaShem may we develop ourselves into the Divine beings we are destined to be. May we emulate HaShem to the best of our ability and in this way, become even closer to Him.

Wishing every special Neshamah a Shabbat Shalom uMevorakh!

25 Av 5773

Please daven for the Refouah Shelemah of our dear Rabbanith Ruth bat Ahuba. Todah Rabbah. BH may we have Besorot Tovot

Parashat Re’eh- Don’t Make Today Tomorrow’s Yesterday

‘If there will arise among you a prophet, or a dreamer of a dream, and he gives you a sign or a wonder and the sign or the wonder of which he spoke to you happens, [and he] says, "Let us go after other gods which you have not known, and let us worship them," You shall not heed the words of that prophet, or that dreamer of a dream; for HaShem, your G-d, is testing you, to know whether you really love the HaShem, your G-d, with all your heart and with all your soul.’ (Perek Yud Gimmel, 13)

HaKadosh Barukh Hu warns us that if somebody walks up to you and says ‘In 3 minutes a brick will fall down from that roof’—and this happens (he probably paid someone off 50 bucks to do it) — and uses this to validate himself as a prophet, and then uses his title to go against HaShem has ve’Shalom, we shouldn’t listen to him, since HaShem is using this as a test to see how committed we are to Him

In Parashat Re’eh we are told not to trade in our current commitment to HaShem for something perceived in a vision of the future, just as this false prophet is trying to do to us. We shouldn’t base what we do now on something we feel will happen later in time. The only way that something that will happen in the future can exist now is as a function of our imagination- not in any other way, there is no other way to figure out what the future will hold. It’s all in your mind. We are warned not to become slaves of the world around us based on extrapolations of time created only in our own minds; we must live in here and now. What do I mean?

Sometimes, we trade in what we have in our hands already because we think we will acquire something much greater later on based on what we are conditioned to think the future will be. This is what the pasuk is speaking about. We are warned not to exchange our love and commitment to HaShem based on a conclusion made about the future, even if it looks guaranteed to us, and logically proven to be so. Often times, we think we know what the future will be because it repetitively happened in the past. Just because something happened many times, by no means can we guarantee that life will continue to take that path. Past occurrences should not serve as an oracle for the future. This is the delusion by which the human mind is narrowed.

Think to yourself, HOW MANY TIMES DO WE GIVE UP WHAT WE HAVE TODAY BECAUSE WE THINK WE WILL HAVE A BETTER TOMORROW? How many times do we repress our ambitions, miss opportunities, and sacrifice precious time because we think we know what the future will be and shape our present day based on something that did not even happen yet? HaShem Yitbarakh warns us not to fall victim to this fabrication of the imagination; these are all tests coming from Him, and we must ensure that we pass them every time.

We cannot give up the opportunities we have TODAY because we are unsure of what will be tomorrow. It’s like amassing money in your wallet, only to never use it. Likewise, we cannot direct and mold our lives based on what we think the future will be.

Like the false prophet, It is not our job to determine the future; we must only try to understand the present situation that we are given. We must loosen our grip and stop trying to be in control of things that do not lie in our hands. Just because we want our future to turn out a certain way does not mean by any means that it has to be so. This is something that we have to earnestly internalize. Do not ever allow your past or future to set a limit on your potential that you have today. If you want to achieve something, put your ENTIRE self into it and do it TODAY.

I often say that sometimes, life is like standing behind a glass window. We stand behind it observing the entire world, inspecting and analyzing and wanting to change things everywhere because we think that is how it will operate best. But as much as we scream and yell and jump up and down and wave our arms, NOBODY CAN HEAR US, nothing will change. After all, we are behind a glass wall, remember? Our time would be better spent pleasantly observing the passersby, maybe exchanging a smile, taking in what we can in order to better ourselves in order to become closer to HaShem Yitbarakh.

This is our test. How much Emunah do we have in HaShem that we stop trying to determine our futures and let Him take the lead? That even if we think we see signs and illusions, we should close our eyes and open our hearts to what HaShem really wants for us. This is true love for HaShem. The pasuk says ‘with all your heart and all our soul’; NOT with your mind. We don’t need to do any calculations. HaShem tells us with our hands we should kill that prophet who pretends he knows what the future is and based on that tries to change your commitments; somebody who lives their life that way is deserving to be killed.

If you sit down with yourself and think about the things that make you worry, you would see that most of it exists in your mind more than anywhere else.

‘What am I going to do next semester?’

‘The bills are due next week’

‘What is she going to say when she sees I broke her vase?’

‘If I don’t get in touch with her now then we won’t be able to speak until Monday, and by Monday it’s too late because I’m going to leave the country and it’ll be hard to communicate overseas. And then there’s the time change. So by the time I get back a month will have gone by and she’d already make the sale to someone else.’

My goodness, calm down. You didn’t even call yet. And what if she picks up? Breathe and trust that whatever happens. It’s meant to play out that way-and that it’s for the best. Don’t play the future in your head- it rarely works out how you imagine it. This way you’re setting yourself up to fail because success would mean that .01% chance of reality actually coinciding with the incident that you conjured up in your mind. Your thoughts are contained in your head- the universe has no way of translating these visions into reality. So get real and work with what you have at hand this moment.

Of course we need direction and a measure of planning in our lives but all of this is a function of the mind and doesn’t even exist in real life, it hasn’t happened yet. And yet it is the biggest cause of anxiety and worry in our lives. Is it next semester yet? Is it next week now? Next month? No! You’re always going to be at a state of ‘now’. Did you realize we never actually get to tomorrow? It’s always considered ‘today’ isn’t it? So yalla don’t worry about ‘tomorrow’, you won’t seize such a thing.  Enjoy what HaShem is giving you NOW and trust that it’s playing out exactly how it needs to. They say worrying is like a rocking chair-it gives you something to do but doesn’t get you anywhere.

If all this abstract talk is making you worry more, here’s a practical way to put it. Do you have a problem? No? Then don’t worry. Yes? Alright, so could you do something about it? Yes? Then don’t worry, you can fix it! No? Then don’t worry! It won’t change anything!

I can’t help myself but to go back to being abstract again. Remember, don't ever make today the collateral for tomorrow; there will always be a tomorrow, but you will never get your collateral of today back. Don’t make today tomorrow's yesterday before the day even passes. Just live in the moment and break past all shackles of time that we tend to be bound by. Every second is an opportunity to grow. Worrying doesn’t fit anywhere in this equation.

Be’ezrat HaShem may we all have the clarity to realize this and the strength to internalize this.

Wishing everybody a Shabbat Shalom u’Mevorakh!